WeaselStorm.com :: Technology Solutions for a Dense Population

Main Menu

· Home

Modules
· AvantGo
· FAQ
· News
· Recommend Us
· Search
· Sections
· Topics
· Top List
· Web Links

Departments

Online

We have 2 guests and 0 members online

Welcome Guest, become a member today.


		EMPLOYEE WARNING - Grass Valley Campus Posted by: uberweasel on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 - 01:34 PM
		608 Reads In the spirit of ''Practically Full Disclosure," and in an effort to combat the ridiculous and unfounded rumors about "killer starlings," the Legal Department of Weaselstorm Corporate is suggesting that managers post the following warning where it can be seen by all employees: Owing to some software bugs in a gene editing system prototype -- and the inadvertent release of several lab animals -- the Grass Valley campus currently seems to have a small breeding population of flesh-eating-finches. Read more... (1280 bytes more)


		Invisibility Cream Nears Rollout Posted by: dan on Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 08:25 PM
		861 Reads Despite lingering concerns about possible side-effects, the WS Marketing Department is moving ahead with the promotional roll out of a “Topical Invisibility Cream.” When product is applied to bare skin, it results in the complete and immediate invisibility of the wearer. Unfortunately, all of the volunteers in the initial human trial are currently missing. Read more... (2029 bytes more)


		Temporal Manipulation Group Predicts Success Posted by: dan on Saturday, October 11, 2003 - 03:51 PM
		1030 Reads Archival Press Release WeaselStorm Research & Design Labs Temporal Manipulation Systems Group Researchers on the Temporal Manipulation Systems Project have been rejuvenated in their efforts since hearing next April's announcement describing the success of the world's first temporal inverter circuit, a prototype of which the TMS (Temporal Manipulation Systems) labs will have completed as part of a two year system redesign, allowing them to bring in this month-long pilot project nearly eight weeks ahead of schedule. Read more... (1172 bytes more)


		First Road Tests of Folding Car Posted by: dan on Sunday, September 21, 2003 - 12:12 AM
		999 Reads WS Ground Transportation Group Folding Car Project Preliminary Press Release September 11, 2003 Thanks in large part to break-through micro-technology from WeaselStorm’s various R&D labs and some "deeply extreme engineering" from the Ground Transportation Group, the long-awaited folding car is currently being road tested as one of the final milestones prior to production. Read more... (1627 bytes more)


		Revolutionary Verticube® Office Partitioning System Announced Posted by: dan on Tuesday, August 19, 2003 - 07:23 PM
		1051 Reads Weaselstorm Press Release Division of Office Technology For Immediate Distribution The office technologies division announces the Verticube® -- a breakthrough in high density office furniture design. The Verticube® may someday be looked back on as the natural successor to the venerable office cubicle. In the meantime, it’s guaranteed to make your workforce denser. Read more... (1499 bytes more)


		Nanotech Research Facility Relocation Posted by: guy on Monday, August 11, 2003 - 09:00 AM
		938 Reads Grass Valley, CA The Nanotechnology division today announced that research facilities will soon be moving to nearby Smartville, California. "It was a surprise to everyone that the Nanotech guys could outgrow the current lab so quickly" said site administrator Milos Vanderwal. "We thought they'd be able to work at their desks with tiny little tools -- we were wrong." Read more... (941 bytes more)


		Stress Test of Nanotechnology Prototype Posted by: guy on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 07:05 AM
		951 Reads Grass Valley -- WeaselStorm Technologies own Nanotechnology Division performs 72 hour endurance test of revolutionary 100% silicon cooling system. The goal is to create a method by which high-capacity cooling fans can be etched directly onto the silicon wafers that are the backbone of the next generation of microprocessors. Read more... (1285 bytes more)


		WeaselStorm Pharmeceuticals Introduces New Product Line Posted by: Dave on Tuesday, August 05, 2003 - 07:35 PM
		992 Reads WSPharma, the pharmaceutical division of WeaselStorm Technologies, announced today the first in a new line of products aimed at a previously untapped market. Dr. Martin Cheswick unveiled "The Baby-sitter's Survival Kit" during a news conference following the quarterly shareholder's meeting in Key West. In addition to many standard first-aid supplies, the kit includes WSPharma's new "Tranquilizer Pops" -- expected to be the company's new best-seller. Read more... (358 bytes more)


		WeaselStorm IFD Relocation Stalls Posted by: dan on Tuesday, August 05, 2003 - 06:41 PM
		930 Reads Construction of the new corporate headquarters for the WeaselStorm International Finance Department in Mulronia has been delayed owing to geographical difficulties. The new twenty-six story tower was originally slated for a January ground-breaking and was intended to provide both an offshore tax-haven and employee exploitation opportunities in a country entirely devoid of Fair Labor laws. Yet despite a remarkable on-time/under-budget architectural and planning phase, setbacks began in December, when the Real Estate Procurement team was unable to locate the country on any map. "We're really at a loss to explain how this happened," reports Edvin Slatengruber, Chairman of the Executive Self-Compensation Committee and one of the primary project managers for the International Finance Department's relocation project. "The country was right there, a month ago! Now nobody knows anything about it." Read more... (877 bytes more)

Login



	Other Stories · EMPLOYEE WARNING - Grass Valley Campus (Sep 06, 2006) · Invisibility Cream Nears Rollout (Nov 11, 2004) · Temporal Manipulation Group Predicts Success (Oct 11, 2003) · First Road Tests of Folding Car (Sep 21, 2003) · Revolutionary Verticube® Office Partitioning System Announced (Aug 19, 2003) · Nanotech Research Facility Relocation (Aug 11, 2003) · Stress Test of Nanotechnology Prototype (Aug 06, 2003) · WeaselStorm Pharmeceuticals Introduces New Product Line (Aug 05, 2003) · WeaselStorm IFD Relocation Stalls (Aug 05, 2003)

Poll

Technology Solutions for a Dense Population